Then I left everyone…

Doing as others told me, I was blind.
Coming when others called me, I was lost.
then I left everyone, myself as well.
then I found everyone, myself as well.

Being alone for days on end is quite an experience. I have small talk with the vendors on my street, quick interactions on Facebook, and one or two Skype calls a day to distract me — but really, I’m alone. I don’t have a friend or loved one on this entire continent. Everyone who cares about me is thousand of miles away.

In the absence of anyone to please or impress, I’m learning who I am, and it’s not who I thought.
It’s only been a week, and some of my insights seem a little shallow and self-absorbed… hopefully I will go a little deeper as I settle in. But this is what I have so far!

As much as I enjoy the life of a writer, I find the act of writing torturous at times. My best work is angst-driven, though.

Turns out I really like beer. And french fries! But mostly beer. I crave it in the hot afternoon sun, like a cat craves cool refreshing water from the toilet bowl.
I love to walk. Just love it.
My soul needs to be fed daily, preferably twice a day. It eats nature, people, beauty, art, music, dance, new surroundings and new experiences. I’ve always known I needed this, but the frequency of the need is a surprise.
My sex drive is ridiculous when nothing happens to squash it.
I don’t really care about being beautiful. I like to be clean and neat, but I don’t care if my nails aren’t painted or I’m not wearing makeup. And I could truly give a damn about cute dresses or jewelry. I just want my clothes to be comfortable and have pockets. (I suspect this will change when my fiancee arrives. I hope for his sake it does!)
I love to dance. It doesn’t matter in the least whether I have an audience, I still just love to dance.
I’m not afraid of much, but that’s mostly because I trust my own common sense and my radar.

I care, very deeply, about people. Not just individual people, but the whole human race. The human spirit is so vulnerable, and so easily buried under the demands of society. I want everyone to wake up, take the red pill, let go of convention and conformity and find their spirits! I wish I knew how to help them.

Have you ever spent a week or more completely alone? Would you?

Published by Lauren

I'm a nomadic freelance writer, out enjoying the world!


  • HP

    May 24, 2013 at 5:57 pm

    I stopped wearing make-up a long time ago. I don’t even own any! Trust me, YOU don’t need it. 🙂

    It sounds lovely there. I have only traveled alone for work and there were always people, strangers, but from my company, waiting for me at my destination. I love to hike alone, but have only been able to get out for a half day or so. When I was younger, in my twenties, my worst fear was to be alone. Now, I can’t wait to get out and spend some time with only me. My youngest graduates high school just after my 50th birthday. I plan to spend my 51st on the Appalachian Trail, completing my thru hike. I have a very long list of places to see and I hope to have a loved one along, but I also hope to make some trips alone.

  • Lauren Zehara

    May 28, 2013 at 1:55 am

    Hey… I can’t tell who you are! But congratulations on your plans to hike the Appalachian trail, I always wanted to hike a part of it. I agree with you, we get so much more comfortable with being alone as we get older. It’s a treat now.

  • HP

    June 3, 2013 at 12:27 am

    I do enjoy being mysterious! It’s Holly Parker, from Belleville. 🙂

  • Lauren Zehara

    June 7, 2013 at 2:42 pm

    HOLLY!!! Hey, good to see you!